Goose Rock and The Rhetorical Child

This is the view from Goose Rock, but I didn't take the picture. These guys did.

My oldest child is entering what the proponents of classical education call the rhetoric stage. Here's what Dorothy Sayers (of "The Lost Tools of Learning") says about this stage: 


"The Pert age... is characterized by contradicting, answering back, liking to "catch people out" (especially one's elders)' and by the propounding of conundrums. Its nuisance-value is extremely high."


Anybody else have one of these? I see those hands. 


Anyhow. 

This summer our family took a trip north to the great state of Washington as we do every year. This year we decided to hike Goose Rock, a short hike but decently steep in places. Our city-bred kids were less than enthused at the exertion and started complaining about half way up. In an effort to bring some levity to the situation, I tried to play make believe. 


"We're Francisco Pizarro! We're exploring the jungles of Peru!"


"Mom," says the pert-aged child, "That was South America. We're in North America."


Fine.


"Okay, we're Henry Hudson! We're searching for the Northwest Passage!"


"On foot?"


"Sure, why not?"


"He sailed a ship, mom."


Ahem. 


"Okay. We're Lewis and Clark. Right continent, right method of transportation. They even explored close to here! You be Sacajawea! I'm Lewis and Owain is Clark.."


"Together? Mom, they split up when they got to the Northwest."


At this point I gave up. 


At least I know she's been listening. 

TV Picks for Preschoolers

Recently I posted on how TV effects kids and why they shouldn't watch it. Just in case you need a more authoritative figure to tell you about TV and kids, here's one and here's another.  Now I'm going to break my own rule and tell you the shows we watch regularly.

Yep, we watch TV. I see it the way I see dessert - a nice treat on occasion. (A caveat - I would never feed my kids rat poison, no matter how much they wanted it. I feel the same about certain television programs)

Sometimes (especially in summer) it really is fun to curl up on the couch together and veg for a while. And there truly are some gems out there - shows that encourage good character and are simply fun. Here are our favorites for the preschool crew:

Charlie and Lola. These are also a book series. Charlie is big brother to a charmingly pesky sister, Lola. Her antics are frustrating but not malicious and he is a model big brother, exhibiting patience, understanding and self control. Family values are spotlighted but not in a saccharin way - the two get into some very real disagreements that kids relate to. 

Peep and the Big Wide World. I love Peep! She and her friends Chirp and Quack wander their world making discoveries. This science-based series is entertaining and educational, and includes videos of real kids testing out the 'discoveries' the animated characters have made. Bonus - Joan Cusack narrates and the theme song is super catchy. 

The Original Thomas the Train. Based on the books by Rev. Awdry, Thomas and his friends help each other, striving to be 'really useful'. The stories manage to teach morals without being obvious about it. The original series was done with absolutely beautiful miniatures; newer ones are computer animated and don't have quite the same gentle tone, but are still good.  

Little Bill. How can you not love a show by Bill Cosby? Brightly colored "paper" animation, engaging characters and relatable plotlines engage kids. The parents are wise and kind, and Alice the Great is the perfect grandmother. Even the older siblings get along well and enjoy being with their baby brother. Lovely. 

Little Bear. Delightful characters, delightful drawings, delightful music. This program is just delightful. It's a good one for just before naps, and it's best for the youngest crowd.

A little later I'll share our favorites for the older elementary kids. I don't, however, have teenagers and I'm wondering if anyone could recommend some good shows for that age group?

Television for Kids

Photo courtesy of parentadvicenow.com

Well, it's summer, and you know what that means! 

Hours and hours of TV watching! 

I'm anti-TV, and I'm not afraid to say it. There are some very frightening statistics about TV watching. Be sure to click over and take a look, you'll be amazed. But I'll highlight them for you. 

The average child watches 1,680 minutes of television every week (that's 28 hours) and spends only 3.5 minutes per week engaged in meaningful conversation with his or her parents. Read that again. 

I am a very strict parent when it comes to television viewing. We do not watch most shows aimed at kids, including Spongebob, Wizards of Waverly Place, Good Luck Charlie or Shake It Up (if you have tweens, I'm sure you've heard of these). 

Many parents feel these are harmless, entertaining and often cute shows, and as to the second and third points, they are. And while I wouldn't always go so far as to call them harmful, they aren't harmless. Our kid's minds are developing every moment of every day. Just like we feed our children healthy food so their bodies can develop, we have to put good examples of character and behavior in front of them so their minds and character can develop properly.

Young children do not have the discernment that adults have. They don't have the ability to see something on TV and understand it as good or bad. We teach them that. Everything they take in becomes part of their base line - the store of understanding they base their life upon. If you place in front of them role models who are consumed with fashion, boyfriend/girlfriend relationships, avoiding or disrespecting authority, and placing the opinions of their peers over all else, that is what they will strive to become. 


In the words of the American Psychiatric Association, "We have had a long-standing concern with the impact of television on behavior, especially in children."

For me, choosing television for my kids to watch is based on asking some questions about the show. First, and most important - "Do the characters behave in a way I want my kids to behave?" Are they kind and compassionate? Are they hardworking? Do they respect their elders? Do they treat their friends well? Do they do the right thing? 

How do the characters present themselves? Any young girl in mini skirts and heels is not getting top billing with my kids. 

And the question all of us Christians should be asking, "Does this show glorify God? Does it teach me to live a life that honors Christ?"

Isn't that what the Bible commands us? 

"And now, dear brothers and sisters, one final thing. Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise." New Living Translation

Very, very few television shows meet the standards laid forth here. Does that mean a half hour of Nickelodeon is going to turn my kids against God? Well, no. Let's not be dramatic. But I do think it's important to filter what our kids watch, and to balance the influence of TV, movies and music with solid relationships with our kids and examples of good, Godly character.

There are, however, times when that TV comes to good use around here. Like when I want to shower uninterrupted. And there are some really good shows out there. Tomorrow I'll share my top picks for preschoolers, followed by top picks for older kids later this week. 

Something to Think About

If you haven't seen this Kia ad, it's quite the conversation starter. Apparently it wasn't intended for an American audience, although I'm not really sure what to make of that. Americans are prudes? What? Have we seen MTV?

Also this is a very, very important article for every parent or step parent or teacher or auntie or uncle to read. Read it twice. Save it to favorites and send it to your friends. Because your children's innocence is at stake, and you have the power to do something about it. (Note: the article itself is a couple years old, but the facts haven't changed.) Here's another one.

Toys for Tots

Photo Credit

My littlest baby is turning one next month (gasp! wail!) and the upcoming birthday has led our relatives to ask the inevitable question - "What should we buy for baby?" 

Thankfully, we've had one year olds before, so I know exactly what a one year old needs. 

Nothing. 

When my oldest was a baby we were given a small grocery bag of (used) baby toys - rattles, chew toys, etc. Those toys (there were about a dozen) went into a small wicker basket in the living room. We also spent $10 on a Walmart walker. It was green plastic and had two toys stuck to the tray. And that was all she had. 

Not only was she kept happily entertained by her small assortment of toys (and lots of other household items), our house stayed tidy and she grew up to have an expansive imagination. As more and more children joined the family, and our circumstances changed, we fell into the same trap thousands of parents are prone to and we bought all kinds of light-up, sing-song, battery eating toys. My current little one has a Little Einsteins exersaucer with a dozen toys, some of which light up and sing, a VTech train (that lights up and sings in three languages), some kind of toy that he pulls himself up on (that sings, counts, says the ABCs and has a bear that dances) and a playpen full of other toys.

It's ridiculous. My house has been overrun with the stuff. And to top it off, here is a list of his favorite playthings:

Socks

Empty sippy cups

Empty water bottles (especially the 'eco-friendly' ones because they crinkle)

Paper (in particular school worksheets)

A dollar store beach ball

Flip flops

Balls of all kinds

Electrical cords

His sibling's toys

Chalk

Obviously we don't allow him free reign with all of these, even if they are his favorites. 

So save your money, folks. We've got all the empty water bottles and socks we need. 

Gratitude

I haven't had a shower since Tuesday. (I know.) I've had a touch of the flu or something, The Amazing Husband has been working double overtime, I can't seem to conquer the laundry that's been building up, and the two year old has been... two. 

So this morning I loaded up the kids (minus one, plus three friends) into the van and drove them to the park to burn off some energy. And I was feeling pretty darn wretched, thank you very much. Having a nice little pity party all by my own self. 

And then this song came on the radio: 

And all the kids in the back started singing along. 

And I remembered that I love my life. And my two year old. And yes, my laundry.

Padded Bikinis for 8 year olds?!

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2011/03/26/abercrombie-padded-bikini-8-year-olds_n_841026.html

I'm speechless.

Ok, not really.

I'm appalled and aghast and horrified. Not that I should be surprised. Abercrombie has always been known for it's disgusting ad material. (If there aren't any children present, Google "Abercrombie images". This stuff is marketed to kids, folks.) I found this interesting; in one town the police removed their in-store pictures because they violated decency laws. I'm thinking about looking into that here.

Anyway, back to the Huffington Post article. Fantastic video interview with a Dr. Bradley.. he nails it right on the head. I didn't, however, like the commentator's line about "parents trying to keep their daughters forever young". Sounded a little supercilious to me.

See for yourself. What do you think? Would you let your daughter wear that?

Gratituesday; Big Closets

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I may have mentioned before that I love my house. (One of these days I'll do a photo tour. Really, Mom, I mean it.) One of the things I'm grateful for are the large bedrooms with walk-in closets! This is the closet in our school room. The closet!

Judah and Westyn playing during school. 

Is that fun or what? In the last house I'm pretty sure the girl's bedroom was that size. Ok, that's not really true. 

But it was close. What are you grateful for today?

Gratituesday; Bubble Baths!

I really love my house. One thing I'm especially grateful for is the giant soaking tub in the master bath. I almost never use it, but twice a week it becomes a bubble-filled swimming pool for the kids. They can all fit in there together (with suits on) and we can get the bubbles almost 2 feet high. The kids are in bath heaven, and my little girl self grins right along with them.

Why Homeschool, part 2

You can catch up on part 1 here.

When I began homeschooling, I was asked fairly regularly why I had chosen to do so. The answers I gave were probably the same answers you've heard given before: the schools are bad/overcrowded/underfunded, I want my kids to have a Christian education, I want them to have one-on-one attention, I don't like the methods the schools use for academics, I don't want my kids exposed to some of the things public schools would expose them to.

These answers never felt quite right to me, though. I felt as though I was coming up with acceptable excuses for homeschooling, rather than giving the true impetus for keeping my kids at home. Believe me, all those things were true, they just weren't the real reason.

The truth is, many of us choose to homeschool by default. We see that the school system is failing them, or that many of our friends or fellow church-goers are doing it, and we think, 'well, that sounds better than my other option, so I guess we'll try it.' The problem is, we're coming at the issue from the wrong direction. We're making our decision backwards.

What we should be doing is sitting down and figuring out our long-term plan for parenting - what kind of people do we want our children to become? And then, how do we help them get there?

Do you have a mission statement for your children? Do you know how you want them to turn out? Most of us have vague ideas about our kids being 'good' and 'happy', but few of us really know what kind of product we're trying to produce. Imagine a sculptor sitting down with a piece of marble and beginning to chisel. Before he makes a single cut he knows exactly what the finished sculpture will look like. If he were to begin to carve without a specific image in his mind, but only a general idea of the end result, chances are good he'd end up with a mess rather than a masterpiece. And once those cuts have been made, they can't be undone.

We have done a lot of thinking and talking about the type of people we want our kids to become. This doesn't mean we are deciding their careers or how many children they'll have; it's all about their character. We want our children to grow into fully mature, Christ loving people who serve others. We want them to contribute to society. We want them to be caring, to be active, to participate in life. We want them to have a good understanding of the world, and to always be learning, discussing and maturing.

I could go on, but you get the idea. Once you have a solid grasp on the end, you can begin to take steps to get there. The question then becomes, "What is the best way to get my child to that end?"

Only you can answer that question. It's possible public school is the best answer for your family. (We knew a missions-minded family who put their kids in public schools because they saw it as a mission field and wanted their kids to be out sharing the gospel). Maybe private school will put your kids on the right path. Maybe homeschooling is your answer.

The purpose of all this is not to convince you that homeschooling is the best way, it's to encourage you to think, pray and discuss until you find your child's best way. To encourage you to go after your child's education intentionally, not just taking the path of least resistance.

For us, homeschooling has been the answer. I'll discuss more about why we made that choice in part 3.

Boys and Girls are DIFFERENT

This is a subject that is worthy of several posts, and I'll probably get to that later, but I stumbled across an old post on possibly my favorite blog and thought it was worth linking to:

http://heartkeepercommonroom.blogspot.com/2010/03/boys-and-girls-are-different-really.html

If you have boys and girls, you already know that they are inherently different, without anybody telling them they're supposed to be. The Common Room's article talks about why. And it's good stuff.

An excerpt:

  Here are the reasons Sax (a Dr.) suggests they (boys) are having so many problems:

• Video games. These addictive activities disengage boys from the world....

Yes, yes, yes. I've noticed a marked difference in my son's attitude after playing video games.

• Teaching methods. Girls develop intellectually up to two years ahead of boys. Boys in grade school are naturally rambunctious. They need ways to express their native energy. They are being taught to read and write too early. Their mostly female teachers prefer compliant, dutiful girls.

• Prescription drugs. Hyperactive, frustrated boys are increasingly being medicated. This we all know. What Sax claims is that these drugs shrink the motivational centres of the brain and that the effect of this lasts years, well after these kids stop taking their meds. I hadn't heard this before but if it's true, it is truly frightening.
• Endocrine disruptors. Chemicals from plastic bottles, canned food linings and some shampoos mimic natural estrogen, the female hormone. Boys' testosterone levels are half of what they were in their grandfathers' day. Also, their bones are significantly more brittle.

We solve this by only bathing the boys once a week or so. :)

• The devaluation of masculinity. Boys don't know how to become men. They no longer have appropriate rights of passage. Once Father Knows Best was the paternalistic model but now he has been replaced (and mocked) by a dopey Homer Simpson. Sax likes the old virtues of courage and temperance, with a good measure of intelligence.

 If you have boys or are married, I'd spend a good while clicking through the links. There is some very, very good information in there.

What about the Children?

If you missed part one or part two on this topic, I'd suggest going back and reading them first.

A few people have asked about children's rights to health care. Shouldn't the government provide for them, since they can't provide for themselves? I think the real question here is not "shouldn't kids have health insurance" but "shouldn't kids be provided with adequate medical care", which isn't the same thing. There are children without insurance who get good medical care, and there are children with insurance who do not.

But let's tackle the health insurance for kids question. Should the government provide medical benefits for kids up to age 18?

Actually, in many cases, they already do.

We can basically divide all the kids in the U.S. into two groups; those whose parents can afford health insurance and those whose parents cannot. We already have government funded free health care for all those kids whose parents are unable to afford private health care, and believe me, the income requirements are very generous. There are also state-funded health insurance plans in every state.

Then there are the children whose parents can afford to cover their health care expenses. Most of these parents do just that, leaving us with a very small slice of the under 18 population who truthfully go without health insurance. Let's look at that slice. Why would a parent who could afford to give their child health insurance decide not to do it?

There are two reasons an able parent would make that choice. One reason would be that the parent has made an informed decision not to do so.

Take, for example, a friend of mine. This friend far prefers natural health care to traditional modern medicine. She is not a loony, she is very intelligent and well-read and, believe me, she has done her homework. When her son is sick, for the most part, she treats him at home. If he needs to go to a doctor, she prefers to take him to a naturopathic or homeopathic doctor.

The problem with health care, for her, is that most health care plans don't cover naturopathic or homeopathic doctors. She is self-employed, so the cost for her to purchase insurance is ridiculously high. And if she does fork out the $600-900 every month for insurance, it won't even cover the type of care she wants. It makes much more sense for her to set aside money every month and pay out of pocket to go to the doctor she wants to see.

Other self-employed parents fall into the same situation, even if they prefer traditional modern medicine. It makes far more sense for some families to invest money every month to cover medical expenses, than to purchase high-priced medical insurance.

Obviously, any parent who goes this route runs the risk that someday their child will develop cancer or some other terrible disease, with bills running easily into the hundreds of thousands of dollars. One solution to this would be to purchase catastrophic health insurance.

The second reason a parent would decide not to buy health insurance for their children is less noble; they don't want to. There are certainly families out there who are without health insurance because mom and dad would rather spend that money on something else.

Passing a government sponsored health plan that covers these kids (the ones whose parents can afford to do it themselves, but don't) would require passing new taxes to pay for the program. This would be unpopular, but well within Congress' constitutional powers. Unfortunately, it would be ridiculously expensive, and it wouldn't really help things.

The parents who don't want to go to traditional doctors wouldn't take advantage of the plan, and the ones who don't want to pay for it would see it as affirmation that their selfishness is okay, encouraging them to let 'someone else' handle things for them. This culture would be passed on to their children, who, come adulthood, would simply hold their hands out and expect the government to take care of them, too.

Another thought would be to pass a law mandating parents to purchase health care for their children, if not for themselves. I've already made my point about mandating commerce, but in this case it might be akin to requiring parent's to put their children in car seats. The adult has the choice to wear a seatbelt, but the child does not. The child hasn't the ability to make an informed decision about the seatbelt, and the law is in place to protect him.

This might be a solution. Then, like with immunizations, the parents could choose to opt out for religious, spiritual, or other reasons (the desire to use natural medicine, for example). Or folks could self-insure (prove they had the financial capacity to cover their own expenses). This would be cumbersome and expensive to enact. It would raise taxes to pay for a brand new government agency dedicated to policing people's medical choices.

I, for one, would feel us slide one step closer to a government that controls our every action.

More later, but I've got to Lysol my keyboard. This virus has got us all but knocked out.. hope everyone else is feeling better than I am. 

Gratituesday; Sick Kids

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The grand adventure in our house right now is a nasty virus that's taken out 3 of us so far. I've gotten about 10 hours of sleep over the past 3 days, and I was going to skip this post altogether, but it's always good to pause and remember to be grateful. Even with snot all over your pajamas. 

So today I'm thankful that we live in a country where I have access to good medical care. This might sound antithesis to my post on health care, but it's not. I'm so glad that if I need to, I can take my kids over to the pediatrician. 

I'm grateful that the worst I have to fear for them is the flu, or pneumonia. That polio, smallpox, the plague and starvation are non-realities in this country. 

I'm thankful that I can run down to the grocery store for Pedialyte and popsicles without worrying about my bank balance.

We are really, truly, fabulously blessed. 

Why Homeschool

Any time I'm asked this question, I'm reminded of the experience I had when I looked into putting my oldest into Kindergarten. Homeschooling was something I'd always wanted to do, and I'd done a formal preschool program with my oldest at home. But we'd moved to a new town (with considerably better schools than the one we had been zoned for previously) and I thought I'd check it out.

It was August, so the school was open but not yet in session. I went into the office and told the woman I had a child I was considering putting in Kindergarten.

"Great," she said, and handed me a packet of paperwork to fill out.

"Oh, I haven't made my decision yet. Could I get a tour of the school?"

She looked at me like I'd asked her to pull broccoli out of her ear.

"Um, we don't really do school tours. I guess you could walk around if you wanted to..."

"Well, could I meet the Kindergarten teacher? Can you tell me about the curriculum you use?"

I can't remember what else I asked her, but the response was the same with each question. I could only see the room after she was registered. I was not allowed to meet the teacher until 'Parents Night' the week before school started (after she was registered). I could not see or hear about the curriculum, talk to anyone about educational philosophy, or meet with the Principal unless she was already registered.

I was supposed to give my firstborn child to perfect strangers to be instructed for 30 hours each week, and I wasn't even permitted to meet them first.

What really astonished me, however, was the response I received when I told people about my experience. Several people were surprised I had even asked about the school before signing up. None of the parents I talked to had done the same. I was expected to simply hand over my 5 year old to the school without question, and folks thought I was strange, or even wrong, not to.

That point of view doesn't make any sense to me, especially since none of those parents would do the same with their 3 year olds. Can you imagine, on finding you need a daycare provider, that you would simply flip open the phone book, select one, and drop your child off the next day without ever meeting the provider? Of course not.

I was a daycare provider for a few years, and most of my parents had both a phone conversation and a personal meeting with me before they brought their children. They wanted to see my First Aid certification and the home their kids would be staying in. Why should we change our expectations for public schools? What is wrong with us?

Our children have been given to us to raise, and we must take care in doing so. Everything we do for them should be done with care and consideration. I'm not against public school as an option, and I don't think homeschooling is for everyone. I do think that whatever decision you make for your child's education should be made after a great deal of prayer, research and consideration.

And so we started praying, researching and considering. And our journey led us to homeschooling...

Read more in part 2

Gratituesday; Leslea

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Today, my first child is 9 years old!

Nine is a big deal, folks. We're pretty excited about it and we'll be celebrating with friends, tacos and chocolate cupcakes.

Because it is her birthday, I told her I'd do a post completely dedicated to her. It'll be fun to look back in a few years and see what she was like today. Today, she:

• is 4'3" tall
• loves horses
• and dogs
• prefers purple to all other colors
• loves her new brown boots
• likes spelling best
• and math least
• and wants to work with animals when she grows up

Happy Birthday Leslea! 

The Joy of Delayed Gratification

I stumbled across this article today. Netflix, the great DVD mailing enterprise, is planning on cutting off it's DVD service and switching to a completely digital service, streaming movies to your TV. I'm guessing it's a purely economical decision; obviously it will be cheaper for them than purchasing and shipping disks. But I see it as yet another step toward a society obsessed with instant gratification. I no longer have to wait three days to see the movie I requested, I can have it right now.

But why not?  I often make my children work for or wait for the things they want, telling myself I'm preparing them for 'the real world', in which they will frequently be required to do so. But will they? They are growing up in a world of texting, microwaves and credit card 'sticks' that you simply swipe over a sensor. It's improbable that they'll actually have to do much waiting at all. Society tells me there is nothing wrong with indulging my whims; that I am entitled to the things I want and that I deserve to have them now. Why then would I submit myself to the uncomfortable emotions associated with waiting? How could that be good for me?

Well, Romans 5:3-4 says "We also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope." (Although my kids don't respond well when I tell them to glory in their sufferings.)

Ecclesiastes 7:8 "The end of a matter is better than its beginning, and patience is better than pride."

Hebrews 6:12 "We do not want you to become lazy, but to imitate those who through faith and patience inherit what has been promised."

Besides, waiting for something makes it all the more sweet. My husband and I recently talked about buying season passes to Disneyland. Our new home is a mere 20 minutes from the happiest place on earth. We were looking at taking the kids for a couple days and discovered that season passes weren't much more expensive. Really, economically, we might as well get the passes and have all our entertainment for the year wrapped up.

But I hesitate. We went to Disneyland once when I was a kid. I was probably 8 years old. I remember that trip vividly. I remember how hot it was. How I was afraid to go on the haunted house so I refused. How later when I decided I wanted to try it my mom wouldn't hike back across the park and the heaviness of that disappointment. The sugar crumbling off the churro that was such a treat. I recall details of that trip 20 some years later, and I savor them.

If we take our kids to Disneyland nine times this year, they won't remember a thing. It will become a casual thing; no big deal. And how in the world will we ever top it? I somehow doubt a day at the park will be enough to satisfy little ones who are used to a day riding the teacups.

I don't want to deny my kids the great pleasures of life. I do want to give my children the ability to savor and be satisfied with small pleasures.

Gratituesday

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I know this sounds cliche, but after spending the last few days in near constant prayer and contemplation over the Hanley family and their loss, I am grateful for my kids.

I have heard of families who have lost children in the past, but something about this story has struck a chord with me. I feel like God has buried the Hanley family in my heart and I literally cannot stop praying for and thinking about them. I'm grateful for this, because it has heightened my sense of gratitude for my kids and all the joy and chaos and laughter and even the trouble they bring to my life.

I'm grateful that I get to be Leslea, Owain, Alese, Judah and Westyn's mom.

Merry Christmas!

Merry Christmas!

I hope the day finds everyone happy, healthy and filled with joy. And not so overwhelmed with wrapping paper that the 96 gallon recycling bin can't close. Ahem.

This year our Christmas was a little different, since we're moving in 2 days. But we still managed to make chili and apple cider on Christmas Eve. We also drove around looking at Christmas lights - way to go Anthem Coventry, you guys rock the Christmas light contest.

The Amazing Husband and I continued our tradition of wrapping gifts on the night of Christmas Eve, and the kids were up at 2am wanting to open presents. (We said no.)

We did handle gifts a little differently this year, and I think it was a success. Last year I went out on Black Friday and bought all the kid's gifts. I got killer deals and managed to put tons of gifts under the tree for very little money.

It was fabulous until about February when I realized we were already donating some of those amazingly low priced gifts. Problem was, I bought anything that I thought they would like because everything was on sale.

This year I went at it differently. Each kid got one big gift, one thing they HAD to have. The cost of each gift varied but the desire for it was the same. They also each received a couple books, some clothes and a pair of shoes (all needed items). And of course some gifts from the grandparents.

That's it.

There were noticeably fewer gifts under the tree this year, but they were all absolutely thrilled and satisfied with what they received. And I'm hoping we won't be clearing any new gifts out until next Christmas.

I think we'll stick with this gift-buying method. I certainly prefer them to have a few beloved toys than rooms full of junk, and they seem just as happy this way. It is fun to have a ton of gifts to open on Christmas, though, so next year I may do more clothes and other items that we would purchase for them anyway throughout the year.

Oh, we do stockings, too. Their stockings were filled with toothbrushes, toothpaste, little toys, lotion, chapstick, earrings (for the girls), candy and pencils. Again, mostly things we would buy for them anyway, but they seem more fun gift wrapped.

How do you do Christmas gifts?

Missing The Amazing Husband

Today is day 3 of the single parent experiment and I will say that one good thing has come of it. I think my husband should go away like this about once a year. Because when he's gone, I have an opportunity to really appreciate him, and all he does around here.

It really isn't the housework or loneliness that gets to me, it's the constant NEED my kids have for attention and affection. Normally I can keep up with it because I share the burden. Now there's no one to go to but Mom anytime a kid needs a drink or wants to tell a story or has a Lego in his nose. Not that that happens around here.

Anyway. My husband is great and I miss him. Looking around at the marriages around me (we've had dear friends lose their marriages and it's so sad) I think we're pretty blessed. (Hmm... I think maybe a post about marriage might be in order... ours, specifically, lest you think it's all peaches and roses around here...)

We have had some fun. With only one set of eyes, things get a little dodgy sometimes. I found my 2 year old sitting in the 2nd drawer of his dresser holding a can of Pepsi (unopened, thank the Lord) and my nearly 7 year old boy was caught in the back yard today catching old leaves on fire with a lighter.

Also my iPhone is broken and I can't transfer pictures to the computer. I have a whole stack of recipes ready to post, but they seem half done without the pictures, ya know? I'll get them up soon.

Thanks for hanging in there with me.

Later.

Moving News

The Amazing Husband left yesterday. He is in Corona, already hard at work at South Hills Church, and believe me, he was ready to get back to work. He'd had about 10 days off between jobs, and while he got a lot done around the house, I was starting to think his head would explode if he didn't go back to work soon.

Things are going pretty well so far, but with me being so outnumbered, there is sure to be some kind of carnage. Don't worry, I'll take pictures.

So along with moving preparations, Christmas preparations, schoolwork, a Christmas play that 3 of the kids are in, doctors appointments for the little boys, and two birthday parties to plan, I get to play single parent for the next 3 weeks.

Should be fun!

How am I going to manage all this? I'm really not sure. But I have a few tips and tricks, and in an effort to be helpful, I'll share them.

1. Meal planning is a huge help. I have pre-printed meal planning sheets that I slide into plastic page protectors and hang on the fridge. I was going to link up the template, but really it's just a 2 column graph with the days of the week in the first column and a blank second column. Not very exciting. Anyway, I plan out breakfasts, lunches and dinners and write them down. The kids like it because they know what's coming up. Then on Sundays I'll take a look at the coming week and do as much prep work as I can. I make all my baked goods, brown meat, prepare casseroles and stick them in the fridge, etc. Whatever I have time for.

2. Stick with a schedule. In times of high stress and chaos, it seems easier sometimes to throw the schedule out the window and be more flexible. This might work for some families, but not mine! When we are used to a pattern, it's best for us to stick with it. We still get up, do school, do chores, etc. just like any other day.

3. Let things go. This year, we're skipping Christmas cards. I feel pretty guilty about this, but when the list of things to do got too long, we had to skip something. We're also not decorating outside, and I hired a cleaning service to come in at the end of the month. Normally I wouldn't be able to justify the expense, but I'm not Superwoman.

4. Be joyful! So what if the laundry isn't done? So what if you can't see the floors in the kid's bedrooms? Who cares if the bathroom smells like a linebacker? It's Christmas. Drink some hot cocoa, watch a movie and snuggle with your kids. Enjoy today!