Quiet Time

Recently I was convicted in the area of making time for daily Bible study and prayer. As Christians, most of us claim to desire this daily 'quiet time'. I even posted about a practical way I try to get mine. I'm sure you pray and read the Word daily. So why do I have so much trouble keeping up with it?

I began to think about all the other things I do in my day. There are certain things I always do I always dress my kids. I always change diapers. And I never, ever skip eating. I often plan my day around it. You'll never hear me say, "Ya know, today was really hectic and I just don't think I have the time or energy to feed my family tonight." I always make time. Even if I truly don't have time to cook, I make sure we eat. Leftovers and drive-thrus aren't nearly as satisfying but they'll do the trick.

Why then, if I can place such importance on feeding my body, do I ignore the food my soul craves?

You might say, "It's easy to remember to eat! Your body tells you when it's hungry. It's hard to ignore a growling stomach. Plus if you don't eat you'll feel sick and weak." Yes. And trust me, 5 hungry kids aren't going to let you forget it.

But doesn't my soul hunger for the things of God? Then why doesn't my soul cramp and complain when it doesn't get fed?

Have you ever seen documentaries or infomercials about starving children in Africa or South America? Those children haven't had enough to eat for weeks or months. Their eyes are sunken, their cheeks hollow, their bellies distended. They stand or sit without moving much; they have no energy. They are clearly malnourished. What they are not is demanding or insistent. They have become so accustomed to their hunger that it is no longer a sharp pain three times a day. It's a constant, dull ache that has become so familiar to them they no longer heed it's voice. They eat when food happens along but they have learned that no amount of asking, pleading or tears will make food appear, so they've given up.

Our souls are like that, I think. They long for the nourishment of an intimate, familiar, converastional relationship with a living God. But when they're denied long enough, they stop crying out. They sit, still and silent, cheeks hollow and limbs lifeless, just waiting for whatever food might happen by.

I can shut up my healthy soul, too. When it does cry out within me, I can feed it food that doesn't satisfy, but quiet it for a while. When my kids are bugging me for dinner and it'll still be a while, sometimes I give them a snack. In my house it's usually fruit, but it could easily be Cheetos or fruit snacks. Foods that fill the mouth but not the stomach, that don't do our bodies any actual good. These snack foods keep my kids quiet long enough for me to get dinner on the table, but they don't satisfy.

I can feed my soul this way, too. When I'm feeling lonely I can turn to Facebook. When I'm depressed I can watch TV. When I'm confused or angry or need guidance I can talk to friends or play online games or read books. None of these things is bad in itself, but none of these things satisfy like time with the Lord. They only distract me from my need.

So I'm making a change. I'm putting my God at the top of my priorities, not just in word but in deed. If the dishes don't get washed, so be it. If I miss out on my 'personal time' blogging or reading, I'll just have to learn to live with that. Because my beautiful, compelling, wise, affectionate friend, Jesus is inviting me to spend some time with Him. And I'm not going to turn down that invitation.

Today is Good Friday.

Today is the remembrance of a horrific and violent death. And yet we celebrate, because as awful as it is, it is good.

Not everything that is good is lovely or easy or happy.

Maybe I'm not making any sense. But this post by Dana at Roscommon Acres does. Please click over and read, because I can't t think of a better celebration of Good Friday than her story.

I'll see you after the resurrection.

Brieana

Perspective

My two year old is a sick, crabby mess today. Poor guy. When he isn't feeling well he has very little patience (let's face it, neither do I) and today he simply could NOT wait for the macaroni and cheese to cook. 10 minutes is a long time, folks.

I did my best to distract and console him while it boiled, and we were both pretty excited when it was finally ready. I picked up the pot and dumped the pasta into the colander I'd placed in the sink to drain the water.

And he burst into tears.

Heart-broken, sobbing, wailing tears.

"Mooommmyyyy!!!! Why did you dump it down the sink?!!!"

Perspective is an interesting thing. From my vantage point, there are things in life that seem to take forever. I am trying to be patient. But I'm tired and hungry and I don't feel well and I'm only two and it's hard. And then it seems that what's been promised gets tossed out like so much hot pasta. I know my Father is taking care of me. But sometimes it looks like he's throwing my blessing away.

Thankfully, He sees what I can't. And He is kind. I lifted Judah up so he could see his mac and cheese sitting in the colander, ready to eat. I wiped his face and kissed him. I fed him and put him to bed. He's doing much better now.

And so am I. Better and thankful for a God who cares enough to speak to us through the normalcy of life.

Lighten Up

We started school at 10:30 today.

Math and grammar are not quite finished.

The kids are playing with a cardboard box - packing their 2 year old brother in it and sending him to one another as a package.

We ate brownies for snack.

There are five (yes, 5) loads of laundry scattered all over my bedroom floor waiting to be folded.

And that's okay.

Sometimes we need to lighten up a little. Not everyday; schedules and routines and schoolwork and housework and nutrition are important. I will always strive to be the best homemaker and parent and educator I can be, and I'll always try to do a little bit better today than I did tomorrow.

But when the striving (and often failing) gets to be stressful and a burden, when I start feeling like I'll never get it all done and I'll never be as patient as so and so and the house will never be clean, that's the time to take a deep breath and remember what's really important.

Laughter.

Conversation.

Imagination.

Joy.

And tomorrow we'll pick back up and keep on striving.

Gratitude

I haven't had a shower since Tuesday. (I know.) I've had a touch of the flu or something, The Amazing Husband has been working double overtime, I can't seem to conquer the laundry that's been building up, and the two year old has been... two. 

So this morning I loaded up the kids (minus one, plus three friends) into the van and drove them to the park to burn off some energy. And I was feeling pretty darn wretched, thank you very much. Having a nice little pity party all by my own self. 

And then this song came on the radio: 

And all the kids in the back started singing along. 

And I remembered that I love my life. And my two year old. And yes, my laundry.

The Joy of Delayed Gratification

I stumbled across this article today. Netflix, the great DVD mailing enterprise, is planning on cutting off it's DVD service and switching to a completely digital service, streaming movies to your TV. I'm guessing it's a purely economical decision; obviously it will be cheaper for them than purchasing and shipping disks. But I see it as yet another step toward a society obsessed with instant gratification. I no longer have to wait three days to see the movie I requested, I can have it right now.

But why not?  I often make my children work for or wait for the things they want, telling myself I'm preparing them for 'the real world', in which they will frequently be required to do so. But will they? They are growing up in a world of texting, microwaves and credit card 'sticks' that you simply swipe over a sensor. It's improbable that they'll actually have to do much waiting at all. Society tells me there is nothing wrong with indulging my whims; that I am entitled to the things I want and that I deserve to have them now. Why then would I submit myself to the uncomfortable emotions associated with waiting? How could that be good for me?

Well, Romans 5:3-4 says "We also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope." (Although my kids don't respond well when I tell them to glory in their sufferings.)

Ecclesiastes 7:8 "The end of a matter is better than its beginning, and patience is better than pride."

Hebrews 6:12 "We do not want you to become lazy, but to imitate those who through faith and patience inherit what has been promised."

Besides, waiting for something makes it all the more sweet. My husband and I recently talked about buying season passes to Disneyland. Our new home is a mere 20 minutes from the happiest place on earth. We were looking at taking the kids for a couple days and discovered that season passes weren't much more expensive. Really, economically, we might as well get the passes and have all our entertainment for the year wrapped up.

But I hesitate. We went to Disneyland once when I was a kid. I was probably 8 years old. I remember that trip vividly. I remember how hot it was. How I was afraid to go on the haunted house so I refused. How later when I decided I wanted to try it my mom wouldn't hike back across the park and the heaviness of that disappointment. The sugar crumbling off the churro that was such a treat. I recall details of that trip 20 some years later, and I savor them.

If we take our kids to Disneyland nine times this year, they won't remember a thing. It will become a casual thing; no big deal. And how in the world will we ever top it? I somehow doubt a day at the park will be enough to satisfy little ones who are used to a day riding the teacups.

I don't want to deny my kids the great pleasures of life. I do want to give my children the ability to savor and be satisfied with small pleasures.

Are ya still there?

Well.

It seems I am not superhuman, after all.

The crush of dealing with 5 kids by myself, making Christmas happen, making school happen, making a move happen, and doing as little much laundry as possible has meant that a few things have gotten pushed to the side of the plate, as it were.

Including this blog!

So I'm very sorry if any of you have been eagerly anticipating my next post, only to be let down for weeks on end.

In fact, I've been so busy that I had to write down my priorities and stick them on my fridge. It's a little reminder of what's important, and I'm thinking I may keep it up even after all this is over.

The Amazing Husband comes home in 2 days. Christmas is in 4. The move is in 6. And I can't find my hairbrush...

Merry Christmas everybody. See you in January!

Being Christ Like without being Christian

The Christmas season always puts me in a joyful and sentimental mood. I realize that it isn't a very common occurence for me to talk about God on this blog, but it probably should be. I hold a deep and abiding love for the God who sought me out and pursued me, who suffered for me, who listens to me complain and allows me to be petty and opinionated and then gently corrects me. I have threatened to give up on Him more than once, but He has never given up on me.

He is the reason for all my joy. He, who knows me best, has given me every single thing I need for a complete and joy filled life. He has blessed me beyond measure and every day He helps me to mature into the kind of person He is proud to call His own.

Christmas time is the perfect time to share all this enthusiasm I have for Jesus with others. They are more ready for it than at any other time of the year, I think. Just tonight we were in church and the pastor said, "This is the time of year when everyone is singing our songs."

In some ways, being the wife of a pastor makes talking to others about God easier. I don't have to figure out how to tell people I'm a Christian; it comes up pretty quickly on it's own. But having people know you're a Christian can be more of a stumbling block than a help sometimes.

In all honesty, there have been plenty of times when I've wanted to bail on being a Christian - not because of Christ, but because of other Christians. I mean really, we can be such morons sometimes! I know if I asked you to give me the name of a fallen 'celebrity pastor' or televangelist, you could. But how about us run of the mill Christians? We can be some of the most mean spirited, condescending and judgemental people around.

It shouldn't be this way.

This Christmas I want to look at this topic. I want to be a witness to people, not because it scores me points or makes me look good, but because I really believe my friends and family members would be happier and more successful in life if they knew Christ. But more and more I don't want people to see me as "a Christian" because of the multitude of negatives attached to that label.

I want to be Christ-like. Jesus was friendly. He was gentle and kind and forgiving. He didn't judge. He was joyful. He was peaceful. He hung out with his friends and went fishing. He lived a purposeful life. He loved his mama and drank wine at weddings. He was compelling. He was a real person.

People want to be around people like that. I want to be like that. I want to live in such a way, and behave in such a way, that people enjoy being around me. I want to build relationship with people so that I have the opportunity to talk about Heavenly things with them.

In the next few weeks we'll talk about the common stereotypes of Christians and how to avoid them, as well as practical steps to take to be more Christ-like and less, well, Christian.

Join the discussion! I'd love to hear your thoughts...