Perspective

My two year old is a sick, crabby mess today. Poor guy. When he isn't feeling well he has very little patience (let's face it, neither do I) and today he simply could NOT wait for the macaroni and cheese to cook. 10 minutes is a long time, folks.

I did my best to distract and console him while it boiled, and we were both pretty excited when it was finally ready. I picked up the pot and dumped the pasta into the colander I'd placed in the sink to drain the water.

And he burst into tears.

Heart-broken, sobbing, wailing tears.

"Mooommmyyyy!!!! Why did you dump it down the sink?!!!"

Perspective is an interesting thing. From my vantage point, there are things in life that seem to take forever. I am trying to be patient. But I'm tired and hungry and I don't feel well and I'm only two and it's hard. And then it seems that what's been promised gets tossed out like so much hot pasta. I know my Father is taking care of me. But sometimes it looks like he's throwing my blessing away.

Thankfully, He sees what I can't. And He is kind. I lifted Judah up so he could see his mac and cheese sitting in the colander, ready to eat. I wiped his face and kissed him. I fed him and put him to bed. He's doing much better now.

And so am I. Better and thankful for a God who cares enough to speak to us through the normalcy of life.

I need some Mommy

My little boy is two. 

I love two year olds. 

The other day he was whining. 

A lot. 

And I was kind of a little bit ignoring him. 

Because I was busy. 

But finally I knelt down and asked him, "What do you need?"

He sniffed. He hiccuped. He said, 

"I n-need some M-m-m-o-ommy!!" 

I love two year olds.

Potty Training Part 2

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And now for more on a subject that is very near and dear to my, er, bathroom. If you missed part one, you can find the first four handy tips here. For the rest of you, here is everything else I know about potty training:

5. Give it time. It's ok to decide your kid isn't ready and back off, then pick up again a month or so later, but give it a chance. Don't get frustrated after the first or second day and decide he's just not ready. Give it a good week before going back to full time diapers. It helps if that first week can be spent mostly at home. It's hard to potty train in public and I always just end up throwing a diaper on the kid so we can go to the park or some such thing, which really disrupts the process. 

6. Say the right stuff. Chances are good that if you ask your kid if they want to use the toilet, they're going to say no. Instead of "Won't this be fun? Don't you want to go potty? Are you a big boy (girl)?", try, "This is fun! You're going to use the potty! You're such a big boy (girl)!" They should follow your lead, not the other way around. 

7. Expect accidents. They happen, it's okay! Don't get discouraged or angry with your kid. Learning new skills takes time. 

8. Relax. By the time your kid is in junior high, he'll be using the toilet. Promise. :)

I hope that helps somebody. And if you need to vent and cry about it, feel free to call me. Or leave me a comment. I'm here for you. 

P.S. It's okay to keep the diapers on at night for a while. When you take the leap, it's a good idea to get a few of these mattress liners for the crib or bed. It's also a good idea to layer the bed (mattress liner, sheet, mattress liner, sheet, mattress liner, sheet). That way when there are accidents (and there will be accidents) you can just strip off the top layer, toss it in the laundry room or garage, and climb into a dry bed. 

P.S.S.  You can do it! You can do it! You can do it! 

Potty Training

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It seems like everybody I know potty is training right now. Including me. Well, that's not entirely true. I should be potty training right now. I just haven't bitten the bullet and done it. But I will. This week. Probably.

Anyway. I figured I'd just jump right on that bandwagon and tell you how I potty train my kids. Because I've done it 3 times and that makes me an expert. Not. And then this post got really long and I didn't want to overwhelm you with my pottying expertise all in one day (not) so I split it into two potty posts. This is part one. (Duh.)

It seems if you Google "potty training" you'll find a whole mess of websites that are happy to sell you potty training DVDs and CDs and books and toys and sticker charts and special potty chairs that light up sing and say 'hooray' if you 'go'. All that sounds like lots of fun, but I've never had an extra $22 to spend on something my kid is going to pee in. Not that you shouldn't. I just don't think any of that stuff is actually necessary.

Honestly, we've never had a potty chair. I think they're icky. I do not want one more thing in my house to clean. Especially when what I'm cleaning is excrement. No thank you. We did have one of those rings that sits in the grown up chair to make the seat smaller so the kids didn't fall in. That was handy.

Truthfully, I don't really have a method in potty training. Every kid is a little different, I think. My middle child actually trained herself. One day, right after she turned 2, she announced that she was going to use the potty. All by herself. And she did. It was very messy for about a week, and then she got the hang of it. I love that kid. But I'm pretty sure that was a total fluke. I guarantee I had nothing to do with it.

Here's what I do know:

1. Make sure your kid is ready. Here and here are some sites that explain more about that. By the way, your kid is probably ready before you think he is. When our parents were small the average child was potty trained at around 18 months. Now it's like 3 1/2. Why? Disposable diapers were introduced, making diaper changing much easier and moms less compelled to get their kids on the toilet. And then we complicated the whole thing by have Potty Parties and TV shows about it. I'm pretty sure my grandparents didn't show their kids DVDs about potties.

2. Get rid of the diapers. Put that kid in some undies! Yes. it's messy, but diapers are made to keep little bums dry and comfortable. Underwear feels yucky when wet. I like these training pants with these plastic liners to minimize messes. Picking out underwear with favorite characters on them is fun, too.

3. Be consistent. Part of this is training yourself. Set a timer and go potty every 15 minutes to start, increasing the time amount as your kid gets the hang of it.

4. Reward success! We jump up and down and cheer and give lots of hugs and kisses. M&Ms work well, too.

For more intellectually stimulating potty talk, check out part two!

Training Littles

"Judah, come here please. Judah! Come here! JOOO DUHHH COME HERE!! Does Mommy need to come over there? Don't make me come and get you!!"

My son is 2. Two is a great age, despite the reported horrors of the 'terrible twos'. In fact, my husband and I love two year olds and find them far easier to deal with than threes.

But there are challenges. Right now one of our tough spots with our 2 year old is getting him to come when we call him. So today we started playing the 'Come Here Game'.

I'll stand a few feet from Judah and say "Judah, come here!" in a sweet voice. He runs to me and gets rewarded with "Yay Judah!!" and a toss up in the air. Then he moves to the other side of the room and we do it again. And again. And again. And again.

Throughout the day I'll keep doing this during different activities. In a week or so we should have him trained to come running any time he hears me call.

A few tips to make this work:

Use the same sing-song voice every time you call your child. Kids are much more attuned to tones than words.

Be consistent. Do this at least 30 times the first day, and continue to reinforce for several days. Do refreshers any time you feel the unwanted behavior returning.

Don't forget the reward! Often our best parenting tricks fail because we forget to follow through.