A Change of Scene

One of the reasons I love homeschooling is the ability to change things up. 

One cloudy day, we decided to make a fort instead of sitting around the table. 

Peek a boo!

Isn't it lovely and cozy?

I had very little trouble getting them to do their work. 

I think I'll go make another. 

Free Downloadable Homeschool Calendar

Hey homeschoolers - looking for a good, easy to use school calendar? Check out CalendarLabs.com for several free, downloadable academic calendars. I just put mine together using this and it was much easier than the cut and paste I've done before!


Here's the one I used:

Love free stuff that makes my life easier!

Happy Independence Day!

We're off swimming, parade-watching and eating, but I thought I'd mention a great free resource for homeschooling families - or anybody who wants to educate their kids on the Fourth as well as shoot off fireworks.

It's the Liberty's Kids series, an animated look at our country at the time of the Revolution, and it's lots of fun. There is a website, with interactive features and behind the scenes footage. YouTube has some 10 minutes clips for free, and the whole series is available to live-stream on Netflix, so you can watch it today. I'd suggest episode 13 "The First Fourth of July", but there are a total of 40 episodes that are all fun and educational.

Happy 4th of July!

The Rule of 3

Welcome to Homeschool Friday! 

I know it's summer. But summer is a great time to reflect on last year and plan for next year. So through the summer, Homeschool Friday will focus on curriculum selection, planning and encouragement. 

I'm not the first person to say this, and if you homeschool you've experienced it for yourself.. getting a homeschool groove takes time. It takes trial and error and tweaking, but most of all it takes time.  I like to call it the rule of three.

First, three weeks. That's how long it takes to adjust to a new schedule. The beginning of the school year is a good example, but anytime you change the structure of your day (if you're a structure kind of family), plan on a good three weeks to get into the swing. We once switched from doing bookwork in the morning and hands-on projects in the afternoon to just the opposite. It felt like running through water! We could not seem to get a handle on it, even though we were doing the same work. But three weeks in it clicked, and it was smooth(er) sailing from then on.

Three months is the length of time I give a curriculum or program before jumping ship. Much less and you risk tossing it before you have a good handle on it. Sometimes it takes time to get accustomed to a new program, or to see where it's going. On the other hand, longer than three months with a program you can't stand or isn't working is a waste of your time.

New to homeschooling? Feel like you just don't get it? Like you're still trying to figure it out? No worries, friend. Three years is about how long it takes a family to figure out who they are as homeschoolers. Not just what curriculum to use, although that's part of it, but what kind of family 'culture' they're fostering. Are you structured or laid back? Hands-on or textbook? Co-op or individual? Classical, Charlotte Mason, Traditional, Unschooling or Waldorf? It takes time to find your fit! Even after the three years there will be changes made, but you'll have a good grip on what style works for you.

Welcome Summer!

Today is the last day of school!

I hadn't actually intended for today to be the last day of school. We still have about 15 days worth of lessons to cover. But it's June. The weather has gotten nice. All the other kids are out of school as of tomorrow. It's been a long, trying, strange, chaotic year. And we're ready.

Also I have enough wiggle room next year to absorb those 15 days.

So tomorrow I will have a 4th grader, a 2nd grader and a 1st grader.

WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Stop it, children. Stop growing up.

Anyway. In honor of the last day of school, I'm posting a 'highlight edition', touching on the ups and downs of our school year. And you can join us! Link up your end-of-school post and share how your year went. Just remember to link back here.

This year...

We started out in Las Vegas with 2 extra kindergartners and ended in California with just us. Boo.

My kindergartner read through Teach Your Child to Read in 100 Easy Lessons. She is the sixth child I've taught to read with that book and it's now missing it's back cover and several pages. I'm going to have to buy a new one for my next round of kids. She worked through half of Saxon 1 and most of Math U See Primer. She grew 4 inches and lost her first tooth. She colored over 100 Bible pages.

My 1st grader worked through all of A Beka's Language 1 and about 1/3 of English for the Thoughtful Child. He mastered spelling with Big IQ Kids. He finished all but 15 lessons of A Beka Arithmetic 1. He cut his hair short. He got his own room. He read his first chapter book and scored his first soccer goal.

My 3rd grader nearly completed Rod and Staff Grammar 3 and Saxon Math 3. She read Mr. Popper's Penguins, The Saturdays, and The Princess and the Goblin. This is a great accomplishment because while she loves books read to her, she has a lot of trouble reading silently to herself. She overcame the challenge of moving away from her friends and making new ones. She became a tween.

Together we dove into early American history, learning about Pilgrims, Pocahontas and John Smith. We ate hard tack and made a model Jamestown fort. We built a model of the Netherlands and flooded it like the Sea Beggar's did. We did all the experiments in Adventures with Atoms and Molecules. We memorized Latin verbs, The Doxology, The Pater Noster, The Preamble to the Constitution, Psalm 23, 5 other Bible verses, 7 poems and the books of the Bible up to Lamentations.

We read A.A. Milne's poetry (both books), A Little Princess, Secret of the Andes, Caddie Woodlawn and Pilgrim's Progress.

We moved, unexpectedly, in the middle of the year and have only just (I think) gotten our feet back under us. We grew closer as a family and stronger in our faith as we learned that God is truly with us always. We were unaccountably blessed by all the wonderful people we've met here.

It was a good year.

Now it's your turn! Tell us about your year, whether you homeschool or not. Post a link to your blog, remember to link back, or just leave a comment if you don't blog. 

Hope you've got a lawyer...

Photo Credit 

I'm not usually one to go all conspiracy theory on you, but these articles have got me all riled up. The folks who run the public school system think they know better how to raise your children than you do. I assure you they have very good intentions; they truly want what's best for your kids. What they think is best, that is. And judging by this week's crop of news, they're bound and determined to see them get it.

Check out this article. In Chicago, your aren't allowed to pack a lunch for your child. Why? Because the school cares more about their diet and is better able to provide nutrition for them. Oh, and then they charge you $2.25 a day for it.

How about this one? After homeschooling for several years, a mother wants to enroll her daughter in public school. One requirement was to catch up on vaccinations. The mother refused due to her daughter's history of adverse reactions to the vaccine. A court order is issued, the police and CPS get involved, and it ends with a tank and a SWAT team surrounding her house.

In Mississippi, Judge Joe Dale Walker wants to know the names and addresses of all homeschoolers in the area. Not because they're under investigation or have committed any crimes. He just wants to keep tabs on them. When he was told his request was unlawful, he issued his own court order.

In Chicago, it seems, the district that can't reform it's public schools is going start 'supervising' homeschoolers. Senators Kimberly Lightford (D) and Iris Martinez (D) say they're worried about students are "falling through the cracks", which leads to this quote:

In an email sent to constituents, the Illinois Christian Home Educators marveled at the irony of the Senators’ comments: “If ‘falling through the cracks’ means kids ending high school without a diploma, without being able to read, without being able to enter college without remedial classes, and with a juvenile justice record, then ‘falling through the cracks’ is quite common in public schools . . . Why [should] the least effective system of education supervise the most effective system?”


Homeschooling advocates have the data on their side. A 2009 study provided the most comprehensive picture of homeschooling efficacy to date. The research drew from almost 12,000 homeschooled students from all 50 states who took three well-known tests — the California Achievement Test, Iowa Tests of Basic Skills, and Stanford Achievement Tests — during the 2007-2008 school year. The national average percentile composite score for homeschoolers in reading, math, science and social studies was 86% versus a 50% average percentile composite score for public school students.

I'm continually astonished at a system that purports to have the students best interests at heart, and then does everything in it's power to hinder them.

Lighten Up

We started school at 10:30 today.

Math and grammar are not quite finished.

The kids are playing with a cardboard box - packing their 2 year old brother in it and sending him to one another as a package.

We ate brownies for snack.

There are five (yes, 5) loads of laundry scattered all over my bedroom floor waiting to be folded.

And that's okay.

Sometimes we need to lighten up a little. Not everyday; schedules and routines and schoolwork and housework and nutrition are important. I will always strive to be the best homemaker and parent and educator I can be, and I'll always try to do a little bit better today than I did tomorrow.

But when the striving (and often failing) gets to be stressful and a burden, when I start feeling like I'll never get it all done and I'll never be as patient as so and so and the house will never be clean, that's the time to take a deep breath and remember what's really important.

Laughter.

Conversation.

Imagination.

Joy.

And tomorrow we'll pick back up and keep on striving.

TGIF

See this? This is my brand-spankin' new Azure Standard catalog that just came in the mail. I'm super excited to see what kinds of great deals I can get on healthy bulk foods. I'm so glad it came! But look at that thing. It's a tome! And look:

No pictures in this thing, either. It's an inch of solid information. And then there's this:

That, friends, is my much-anticipated copy of Story of the World volume 3. The activity book. As you can see, it's even thicker than the Azure Standard catalog. I get to go through it, lesson by lesson, to plan our next 43 weeks of history. And yes, those are dishes on my counter. And snails in jars. 

And this is my laundry room. 

So that's what I'm doing today. How about you?

I love Homeschooling

I may have said this before, but I love homeschooling.

Take today, for example. Normally at 10 in the morning on a Thursday we'd be in the throes of handwriting, math and Spanish. But last night we were all (including the little boys) up until ten because last night was the kick off of my amazing husband's amazing midweek service party for kids. It was amazing. There will be videos, once I learn how to post them.

And then this morning somebody forgot to tell the baby that staying up late leads to sleeping in. And then I found The Pioneer Woman. I adore The Pioneer Woman. She's feisty. She has cows. Do not go to her blog unless you have nothing planned in the next two hours. Consider yourself warned.

So today the kids are watching entirely too many cartoons, and I'm reading every single one of The Pioneer Woman's back entries since 2007. It's not that we won't do school today. We'll just start late. Like 10:30. Or 1:00. We'll see.

Oh, and I read this fabulous quote this morning and felt compelled to share:

"One of the very nicest things about life is the way we must regularly stop whatever it is we are doing and devote our attention to eating." -Luciano Pavarotti

Amen.

Also, it seems somehow wrong to post without a picture, but I couldn't think of a picture that went with this post, so here is a random shot of one of my kids, just because I think it's cute.

Why Homeschool, part 2

You can catch up on part 1 here.

When I began homeschooling, I was asked fairly regularly why I had chosen to do so. The answers I gave were probably the same answers you've heard given before: the schools are bad/overcrowded/underfunded, I want my kids to have a Christian education, I want them to have one-on-one attention, I don't like the methods the schools use for academics, I don't want my kids exposed to some of the things public schools would expose them to.

These answers never felt quite right to me, though. I felt as though I was coming up with acceptable excuses for homeschooling, rather than giving the true impetus for keeping my kids at home. Believe me, all those things were true, they just weren't the real reason.

The truth is, many of us choose to homeschool by default. We see that the school system is failing them, or that many of our friends or fellow church-goers are doing it, and we think, 'well, that sounds better than my other option, so I guess we'll try it.' The problem is, we're coming at the issue from the wrong direction. We're making our decision backwards.

What we should be doing is sitting down and figuring out our long-term plan for parenting - what kind of people do we want our children to become? And then, how do we help them get there?

Do you have a mission statement for your children? Do you know how you want them to turn out? Most of us have vague ideas about our kids being 'good' and 'happy', but few of us really know what kind of product we're trying to produce. Imagine a sculptor sitting down with a piece of marble and beginning to chisel. Before he makes a single cut he knows exactly what the finished sculpture will look like. If he were to begin to carve without a specific image in his mind, but only a general idea of the end result, chances are good he'd end up with a mess rather than a masterpiece. And once those cuts have been made, they can't be undone.

We have done a lot of thinking and talking about the type of people we want our kids to become. This doesn't mean we are deciding their careers or how many children they'll have; it's all about their character. We want our children to grow into fully mature, Christ loving people who serve others. We want them to contribute to society. We want them to be caring, to be active, to participate in life. We want them to have a good understanding of the world, and to always be learning, discussing and maturing.

I could go on, but you get the idea. Once you have a solid grasp on the end, you can begin to take steps to get there. The question then becomes, "What is the best way to get my child to that end?"

Only you can answer that question. It's possible public school is the best answer for your family. (We knew a missions-minded family who put their kids in public schools because they saw it as a mission field and wanted their kids to be out sharing the gospel). Maybe private school will put your kids on the right path. Maybe homeschooling is your answer.

The purpose of all this is not to convince you that homeschooling is the best way, it's to encourage you to think, pray and discuss until you find your child's best way. To encourage you to go after your child's education intentionally, not just taking the path of least resistance.

For us, homeschooling has been the answer. I'll discuss more about why we made that choice in part 3.

Why Homeschool

Any time I'm asked this question, I'm reminded of the experience I had when I looked into putting my oldest into Kindergarten. Homeschooling was something I'd always wanted to do, and I'd done a formal preschool program with my oldest at home. But we'd moved to a new town (with considerably better schools than the one we had been zoned for previously) and I thought I'd check it out.

It was August, so the school was open but not yet in session. I went into the office and told the woman I had a child I was considering putting in Kindergarten.

"Great," she said, and handed me a packet of paperwork to fill out.

"Oh, I haven't made my decision yet. Could I get a tour of the school?"

She looked at me like I'd asked her to pull broccoli out of her ear.

"Um, we don't really do school tours. I guess you could walk around if you wanted to..."

"Well, could I meet the Kindergarten teacher? Can you tell me about the curriculum you use?"

I can't remember what else I asked her, but the response was the same with each question. I could only see the room after she was registered. I was not allowed to meet the teacher until 'Parents Night' the week before school started (after she was registered). I could not see or hear about the curriculum, talk to anyone about educational philosophy, or meet with the Principal unless she was already registered.

I was supposed to give my firstborn child to perfect strangers to be instructed for 30 hours each week, and I wasn't even permitted to meet them first.

What really astonished me, however, was the response I received when I told people about my experience. Several people were surprised I had even asked about the school before signing up. None of the parents I talked to had done the same. I was expected to simply hand over my 5 year old to the school without question, and folks thought I was strange, or even wrong, not to.

That point of view doesn't make any sense to me, especially since none of those parents would do the same with their 3 year olds. Can you imagine, on finding you need a daycare provider, that you would simply flip open the phone book, select one, and drop your child off the next day without ever meeting the provider? Of course not.

I was a daycare provider for a few years, and most of my parents had both a phone conversation and a personal meeting with me before they brought their children. They wanted to see my First Aid certification and the home their kids would be staying in. Why should we change our expectations for public schools? What is wrong with us?

Our children have been given to us to raise, and we must take care in doing so. Everything we do for them should be done with care and consideration. I'm not against public school as an option, and I don't think homeschooling is for everyone. I do think that whatever decision you make for your child's education should be made after a great deal of prayer, research and consideration.

And so we started praying, researching and considering. And our journey led us to homeschooling...

Read more in part 2

This and That

Right now, I'm sitting at the computer, listening to my children (the older 3) in the next room playing "Headbanz" for their free time. Can I just say, this might be the best entertainment I've had in a long while. 


Some snippets:

Owain: "You belong in the kitchen." Alese: "Am I french fries?"

"Sometimes you're crispy."

"You're not a Sith."

Hysterical laughter. "But if I'm not a banana what else could I be?!" More hysterical laughter.

 *   *   *   *   *

Yesterday I commented on a comment over at Heavenly Homemakers. I shouldn't have, I suppose. I should have just kept my mouth shut, but I can't ever seem to do that, you know? And then, this morning, there in my inbox was a reply to my reply. And boy did it get my blood boiling. The post was on modesty. Someone had commented that they felt we should have the right to get up and move if the person sitting next to us in church was dressed inappropriately. This was my reply:

It seems to me that our primary purpose in life is to win others to Christ. So, if I'm in church and a (possibly unbelieving) woman sits next to me in a skimpy dress, I might feel uncomfortable but I should push through that discomfort and do what I can to make her feel welcome in my church. I want her to feel like she can come just as she is, so that as she sits under the teaching and through the worship, God might change her heart. I might, however, discreetly and gently let her know that her dress isn't appropriate, after I'd made an effort at a relationship with her.

Here is the new reply:

Your post leads me to think that you might believe that a woman dressed less demurely thatn yourself you may think she isn't a christian....yet another thing that Jesus woulsn't do...judge..I'm so glad my church isn't like yours...we go to worship not judge..

Wow. I mean, wow. And boy did I want to comment back. I mean, I really, really wanted to. But I didn't, because that wouldn't have helped anything. But I sure wanted people to know that I'm not judging.. so I figured I'd tell you all. You know I'm not a meanie, don't you? 

*   *   *   *   *  

It's been just a few days shy of a month since we arrived in California, and life is still not quite back to routine. I should probably be more patient and understanding of this, since there are 7 of us in a new home in a new city, but I'm really irked about it. 

I want schedules and routines. I want a clean and tidy house. I want to know where the park is. I want to get through a day of school before dinner time and without skipping any subjects. (Latin isn't that important, is it?) 

Sigh. I know it will all come together, but I sure wish it would hurry up. 

In the meanwhile we've all been having a wonderful time playing together. Surprisingly, with no friends close by the kids have become best buds, and the bickering has gone down considerably. And we are making new friends, just in case you're worried about their socialization. 

Homeschool Freebies! Favorite Resources

I'm pretty sure I mentioned before that my all time favorite resource for homeschooling is the library. Our library is phenomenal! I'm pretty sure I could give up teaching art, literature, science and history and instead just sign my kids up for every class the library offers. But to say it's my favorite free resource is a little disingenuous.  Because I have two. 

The other favorite free resource of mine is a website - The Well Trained Mind. The forums on this site are bang on fantastic. If you have a question about anything from grammar to teaching styles to how to cook cabbage these folks will be able to answer it for you. It's the most active board I've seen for homeschooling and the folks are great. It's like a big family. I could go on and on, but you've got to check it out. In fact, it's the only resource I'm going to post today because I know once you go you'll be hooked! 

Have fun!

Homeschool Freebies! Spelling, Typing and Reading

Today we'll tackle spelling, typing and reading resources.

SPELLING

Big IQ Kids is our FAVORITE free spelling course. It's an online spelling bee! You can compete with other kids around the country! It's SO fun! And it contains links to free math, vocabulary and states curriculum. 

This site has a complete free spelling course, which I would use for middle grades (2nd - 4th or so). There are also links to grammar courses that are also free. 

If you are interested in hosting your own spelling bee, this site is has word lists for all grades. 

TYPING

For typing, my kids love BBC School's Dance Mat Typing. It's a complete typing course that is a load of fun. Also on this site are tons of links to other educational games. 

Power Typing has more typing games. 

And yet more games at this site. 

READING

My favorite reading (phonics) program is Teach Your Child to Read in 100 Easy Lessons. I got my copy on Amazon for about $10. It's falling apart now and should probably be replaced, but I can't bear to part with it. 

If you want free, though, check your local library for readers. The children's librarian should be able to point you in the right direction. 

Learn to Read Free  is a fun, kid friendly online program. 

This site has a free reading program. 

This is a reading intervention program. I haven't used it but it appears to be for kids who are struggling. 

Happy educating!

Homeschool Freebies! Math and Science

Our third edition of Homeschool Freebies will feature math and science.

Math:

MEP is a completely free math program being used in the UK. If you are interested, I highly recommend checking out this group, who can answer any questions you may have. Awesome program, full of puzzles and lots of mental math.

You can get free printable worksheets for all grades here and here.

This site has free online activities for all grades from preschool to middle school. Since my kids love to play on the computer, this has been a hit.

And here is a site with lots of links to other sites with free math resources. A link to links.. hope you've got some time! :)

Science:

Inquiry in Action offers a free, downloadable chemistry curriculum for the lower grades. All experiments can be done with household items.

This site also offers free curriculum, in many areas of science, for all grades.

Here is another option for free science curriculum.

Honestly, my favorite resource for science are Bill Nye videos. Most libraries have them, ours has about 40. Watch the video, do the experiment they show during the 'do this at home' section, and make an experiment page. Easy and free. My kids ask to bring the videos home for fun!

Hope that helps! Feel free to link up your favorite free math and science resources by leaving a comment.

Homeschool Humor

Ah, yes, another little ditty about stereotypical homeschooling. Seems I have work to do. I wonder if Target sells denim skirts?

Homeschool Freebies! History and Geography

Once again, some free stuff you can use to teach your kids at home! This week: History and Geography.

C-SPAN Classroom is offering a free Presidential Timeline poster if you sign up as a member on their site. They also offer videos, a forum, teaching tools and more. 

You can print free outline maps here. 

Learn geography with this downloadable game from Seterra.

I mentioned it last week, but Guest Hollow is a fabulous history resource. 

And, of course, History Channel's website is fantastic. 

Homeschool Freebies! Stuff we use

 

I don't know why I haven't posted much about homeschooling. Maybe it's because homeschooling pretty much overwhelms my life, so once I sit down here to unwind it's not what I really like to think about.

That said, I LOVE homeschooling and I'm pretty passionate about helping other people do it, so I thought I'd share some stuff. My first homeschool series will be on FREE STUFF. 'Cause everybody likes free stuff, yes?

Each Thursday until I run out of ideas I'll be posting free resources you can grab for your homeschool. So y'all come on back now, ya hear?

I'll start with the ones I use right now:

MEP is a math program developed in Europe. You can download it and print it free. I use it as a supplement for my kids and I really like it's style - very mental math and lots of puzzles. You can get answer guides but you need a password. I don't know how to get the password, but check Google groups or any homeschool board and the folks who use it as their primary can let you in on the secret.

GuestHollow American History is AWESOME. I use it as my history spine. Love, love, love it. They have more stuff, too.

The BBC has a great typing program we use. Very fun.

Zaner Bloser has customizable tracing pages. We print these, then slip them in a clear sheet protector and use a wet erase marker to trace. Kids love wet erase markers.

Calvary Chapel offers a free Bible curriculum that we're using. It goes through the entire Bible in, like, 500 lessons or something. Coloring pages, crosswords, worksheets and more at varying difficulty levels mean everyone can do something.

Hope you find something you can use! Let me know if you use any other free resources!

Homeschool Humor

Just to brighten your day, here's a link to a a little video that made me chuckle.

A Day in the Life

I often hear remarks from people about how well I manage my kids and how organized and put-together I seem. One friend of mine actually said to me, "I wish I could come to your house and just watch you all day, then I'd know what to do." So I figured, why not? I'll post about a normal day in my house and set everybody straight. Of course, I picked today, which turned out to be very, er, interesting.

See, I may have fooled most of you, but you'll soon see what REAL life is like for my family. In fact, once I got to the end of this day I reconsidered writing about it, but then I realized that would be cheating. So here goes; a day in the life of one family of 7...

6:00 am   My alarm goes off. In the kitchen. I use my phone as my alarm and I'd forgotten to bring it into the room with me last night. So I go sprinting through the house hoping it hasn't woken the kids. (Woken? Waken? Uh... Gee I'm glad I'm teaching my kids grammar.) Since the baby was up a lot in the night, I crawl back into bed for five more minutes...

6:30 am   Baby wakes up. Bring him in bed with me for five more minutes...

??? am    Kids start piling into the room. Alese gives me her usual morning greeting: "Can we eat?" Everybody snuggles and giggles for a little bit and then I reach for my phone and realize it's... 7:57!!!!

8:00 am   Rush around getting kids dressed and cereal on the table. Decide matching clothes are optional. Decide I can shower tomorrow. Decide to get a real bedside clock.

8:30 am  Realize that today we have 2 soccer practices and the first meeting of the small group we were coerced into volunteered to host. Use every ounce of pre-coffee brainpower I possess to try to figure out how we're going to manage that. Give up and go looking for coffee.

8:45 am   The Borrowed Children arrive. House dissolves into chaos and children are ordered OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW!!

8:50 am   Coffee in hand, I check email and find out I can buy $25 restaurant gift cards for $1! Thank you Crowd Savings! Jump on that deal.

9:00 am   Still waiting for the page to load. Remember I forgot to call Amazing Computer Fixing Guy, again.

9:15 am   Give up waiting for page to load. Start school with memory work and Bible reading. Carefully edit the story of Jacob, in which he tells his father in law to "give me my wife so I can sleep with her." Thank you, NLT.

9:45 am   It's time for science. Baby is crying. 1 year old is crying. 8 year old girl doesn't want me to stop reading aloud. 5 year old girls want to keep coloring. Boys are using markers as machine guns. Mommy is out of coffee.

10:00 am   Manage to get everybody calmed down and start science. I don't notice 1 year old absent from the kitchen until he comes back in with something brown and wet all over his hands. "Honey, what's on your hands? Is that... POOP?! HOW DID YOU GET POOP ON YOUR HAND?!" Turns out SOMEONE didn't flush and 1 year old went all tide pool on me. Have not used so much sanitizing hand soap in many months. Give the children a lecture on the sanitary neccessity of flushing the toilet.

*Interesting side note. We all know, of course, who didn't flush. My mysterious sixth child, NotMe. NotMe is a sly and silent child who wanders the house making messes, leaving lights on and eating the last of the Golden Grahams. I have yet to catch NotMe, and it's a good thing for him because boy does he have some whippin's coming.

10:30 am   Science is done. Send all kids to play while I clean up. Spill oil and water from the science experiment all over the floor. Baby starts crying. One of the girls notifies me that the 1 year old has written all over the walls with pencil. Ask very calmly how on earth the baby got a pencil. This is a silly question, for of course no one knows.  Begin scouring walls with Magic Eraser.

10:40 am    Math with 8 year old. While nursing the baby. Math with 6 year old. End early to get lunch for 1 year old who is having a complete meltdown due to and empty stomach. After all, he hasn't put food in his mouth for at least 30 minutes.

11:00 am   Realize I forgot to pack lunches and violate the Homeschool Mother's Creed by heating up frozen chicken nuggets for lunch. Sorry, no organic peanut butter on homemade bread today, kids. Want some American cheese slices with that?

12:00 pm   Put 1 year old in bed and tell kids it's time for silent reading. After a few minutes remind kids that it's called SILENT reading. After ten minutes find myself yelling BOOKS! READING! FOCUS, PEOPLE!

12:10 pm   Give up on silent reading. Find out 8 year old doesn't have soccer practice and 5 year old doesn't want to go. Huzzah! Impossible evening schedule problem solved.

12:15 pm   Math, reading, spelling, handwriting, grammar. All rather uneventful. Huzzah!

1:30 pm   Latin. "What's Latin for 'I sail?'," says I  "Pico?" asks my son.  "No," answers his sister, "That's salsa." "Oh," he replies, "Can we have some chips?" Focus, people.

1:45 pm  The girls want to make a craft. They disappear into the kitchen. The boys and I try to do origami. Their commentary on my paper folding swings wildly from "You did it! This is SO easy!" to "It's SO hard! That looks like a turkey on crack!" Oh, wait, that was me.

2:00 pm   The Borrowed Children are picked up. Spend 5 minutes looking for matching shoes before realizing the Boy wore non-matching shoes today. 1 year old wakes up covered in snot. 8 year old girl goes all Rachel Ray and makes egg burritos for after school snack.

2:30 pm   Begin cleaning house for company. Realize the house could be more nicely decorated and decide to hang up all the pictures that have been in the closet for a year. Realize there aren't any framed pictures of the two little boys in the house. Decide to order some from Walgreens, pick them up, frame them and hang them all on the wall in a lovely display. What, you don't start minor redecorating projects 3 hours before company shows up? Amateurs.

3:30 pm  Photos selected and ordered, frames hung, baby fed, near catastrophe involving 6 year old boy and hammer averted. Commence cleaning.

My new wall display.

4:46 pm  Gently remind children that scooters are not for riding in the house. I don't care how cool the thump-thump-thump on the tile is.

5:30 pm   House is clean (mostly). Homemade french fries courtesy of 8 year old girl in oven. (I'm beginning to think she's the one who actually runs the house...) Homemade hamburger buns ready. Homemade hamburgers ready. Brownies ready to go in oven. Sodas cold. Newly printed pictures on their way home with the Amazing Husband.

6:00 pm   Begin final food prep. Give 1 year old boy (who is almost dying of hunger again) a hot dog.

6:15 pm   Have Amazing Husband start burgers on the grill.

6:30 pm   Realize nobody's coming. Get angry. Get sad. Get grumpy. Realize blood sugar is low. Eat hamburger.

7:00 pm  Mmmm. Unbelievably yummy hamburger and fries consumed. Remember that life is good and smile on children.

7:30 pm  Bathe 1 year old and 5 year old. Try to ignore the blare of Mario Brothers, the cartoon.

8:00 pm   Kids eat brownies and go to bed. Amazing Husband watches football. I shower, then clean the kitchen.

9:00 pm   Write blog post. Realize I'm very sleepy. And that I haven't set an appointment for our portraits tomorrow. And that I never called Amazing Computer Fixing Guy. And that my chance at $25 restaurant gift certificates for $1 is gone forever. Or until they run the special again.

Time for bed. Maybe I'll watch Iron Man 2 with the Amazing Husband.

And there you have it. One very messy, slightly insane and generally chaotic day in our life. So next time you see us all dolled up at church just remember, before we left the house, somebody probably had poop on their hands.